The Answer Box
Virginia: I have a very nosey friend. She reads my Christmas cards and asks about letters I have mailed and received. I cannot find WHY she pries so much unless it is because she has a Scorpio Moon in the 11th house. My question—CAN an individual’s extreme nosiness be identified in the natal chart?
Maritha: one can almost never definitely identify something in the natal chart. We see potentials and tendencies in astrology, but no absolutes. Nosiness is ONE of many possible forms of expression of a Scorpio Moon in the Eleventh House, but it is certainly only one of many choices the individual has.
Generally speaking, we would expect an air-water mixture for the potential of nosiness. Air gives the interest in and curiosity about everything. Water has security needs, and may feel a need to pry in order to feel secure, that one knows what is going on. And water wants to absorb and be absorbed in a relationship, so normal lines of privacy may get blurred.
Since water is the unconscious element and air is the conscious, an air-water mixture is also potentially fantastic for depth psychotherapy. People who bring the unconscious into the conscious and put it into words, generally have strong air and water. An example of this is Sigmund Freud, who first conceptualized the unconscious, with all his Gemini in the Eighth House.
Water is also the intuitive, psychic element and many talented psychics have strong air-water mixtures where the air helps them to understand and use consciously the intuition of the water. Similarly, many fine researchers combine the depth of water with the intellect and breadth of air.
This particular example involves the Moon, which symbolizes our basic emotional security needs. The combination (Moon, Scorpio, Eleventh House) could indicate someone who gets her security and feelings of emotional safety from absorbing and engulfing (Scorpio) in what most people would see as a more casual acquaintance relationship (Aquarius). She feels safest knowing everything that is going on with her friends. (It is also possible her own mother role-modeled this intrusive behavior with her since the Moon is also mother or mother-figure. But we would need to look in more detail, at the whole chart to get any clear picture of mother.) It is almost as if the need for a mother-child relationship (Moon) and the need for a mate (Scorpio) were seeking satisfaction where normally one is detached and more superficial (Eleventh house friends).
However, if this friend were engaged in serious research, depth psychotherapy, utilization of her intuition, or any quest for knowledge to which she can add intense commitment and involvement, she would probably not need to use this energy in nosiness about her friends.
You have choices as to how you deal with her nosiness. Since she hasn’t taken any of your “hints,” so far, it is unlikely she will be hinted away. You may need to tell her directly that you do not like her prying. You may also wish to encourage her to use her talents in more fulfilling ways. Her intense search for information could be very valuable in many fields of endeavor. You may also want to examine the fact that she is basically looking for a very close, absorbing relationship with you. If that makes you uncomfortable, you will need to deal with it. If you feel that is also what you want, perhaps you can find areas of your life and ways you are willing to share (voluntarily!) more deeply and intensely with her.